My friend Frank DeMarco recently posted TGU on choice, where in response to a friend’s question on choices, he asked his guides, “The Guys Upstairs,” to comment. Not being the least bit shy, they of course did, and it’s worth reading.
Life is not a passive but an active endeavor and can more or less be boiled down to making choices and then living with the consequences, good, bad or neutral. Daily I would think we make thousands of choices and obviously not all of them consciously. The subconscious choices we make are typically lower priority decisions that will not alter or change our paths, while the high priority choices that flow up into consciousness are the ones that could or will directly affect our life (personal, family, work, etc.).
When faced with making an active choice, we can be presented with any number of possibilities. In some instances, for whatever reason, we may decide not to make an active choice. It could be that we cannot see a clear choice, or perhaps we may fear making the wrong decision, or a myriad of other reasons, but not making a choice is still a choice.
I read the TGU link as you suggested, and I thought it was brilliant. I liked what it said about continuing to make the same choice. I am reminded to choose daily, or even hourly or minute-by-minute, as long as the choice still represents my vision of me.
One of my teachers advises not choose unless the object or idea of choice is a “clear yes”. Not no, not maybe, but Yes! I do agree with that, but as you point out, not choosing is still a choice. Thank you for this.
Muse, you are welcome, and thanks for the kind words. I’ve been known to make choices by default myself when there aren’t any clear winners and there is nothing wrong with that. The thing I have realized is that all choices – all paths – lead to where I want to be, it’s just that some of them are bumpier and perhaps longer than others. I’ve also realized that if it’s too bumpy on the one I choose, I can simply make another choice. As far as I can tell, no one is keeping score (except maybe us) and no one cares how many choices, or how many different paths we take on our journey (except maybe us).
I clicked through the TGU link too and I’m glad I did. I found myself standing at crossroads and contemplating which way to proceed. While this was going on I became a persona non grata at a place I had been volunteering. Then I remembered reading what Frank said:
“…there are no victims, no villains, except in a frame of reference that defines them so. You create your own reality decision by decision, choice by choice, and then you play out the results of those choices and reinforce the choices, or contradict them, or go off in a totally new direction, or whatever you want to do.”
So yesterday afternoon I made some sweeping changes. I chose not to confront those who were demonizing me and instead I walked away. Unfortunately I lost it and said something unpleasant first but I did keep walking.
Don Miguel Ruiz in the The Four Agreements advises: “Don’t take anything personally.” To walk our path we must become immune to the assumptions, opinions and actions of others.
Namaste Richard and MusEditions {she bows}
Richard, thanks for the reminder that no one is keeping score! (except us). (maybe).
brightfeather, am aware of unpleasantness of which you speak. I agree that Richard’s posts are a great place to hang out for inspiration at such times. Be of good cheer, my friend. It appears you are taking the high road.
Sometimes we need people we are in contact with us to point out that we have stepped off the pathway and gone into the rough. When they do remind us and we recognize that we have caused offence by deviating we must apologize and then move back onto the path. This is what I have done. Everyone we meet is our mirror and I looked into a mirror that reflected my own angry state of denial with regard to my invisible disabilities back to me and did what I had to do.
I’m missing you Richard and I’m sending you warm wishes across the miles.
Namaste