Mother’s day has just passed, and it always makes me think of holiday brunches with my mother at The Goose Egg Inn just west of Casper, Wyoming where she lived. The inn was named after the nearby Goose Egg Ranch featured in Owen Wister’s novel, The Virginian, which, sadly, was torn down in 1960. My mother made her transition in March of 2001 so we no longer brunch at the Goose Egg.
I was adopted at birth, so I know almost nothing about my birth parents or my ancestry except that I was told I am half Italian. My parents told me I was adopted as soon as I was old enough to understand, and for the longest time, I never thought of my birth parents or my ancestry. I had loving parents and a happy childhood.
After Jill Kuykendall talked about soul loss and soul retrieval during my first Visionseeker, I had the feeling that I needed to have a soul retrieval done. I didn’t quite know why at the time as I had never really had any of the classic symptoms, or any significant personal traumas during my life – at least as far as I could remember. Jill asks clients to answer some questions to let her know about themselves, and to let her know why they think they may have soul loss. My only answer to that question was to say I didn’t know, I just felt I did.
Jill brought back four soul parts for me; three which she described as being in my “shadow” and one which had actually tried to return to my oversoul, and was in a protective bubble just outside my oversoul’s field. This turned out to be a soul part that had broken off at birth. According to the Hawaiians, when the seed from our oversoul (us) comes into the body at our first breath, we bring with us gifts for our parents. Since I was whisked away right at birth I did not have a chance to give my birth mother the gift I had brought for her, which produced a trauma and soul loss. After the soul retrieval, I journeyed to the oversoul of my birth mother and gave it the gift I had not been able to give my birth mother. I got the impression that this would cause her some grief or bring up guilt, so I asked her oversoul to keep it for her until such time as she was ready to receive it.
My thoughts had recently turned toward the relationship between my birth parents, the parents who raised me, and me. The Hawaiians say that the body soul is created at the point of conception and that both the mother and father contribute. The contribution of the mother and father contains traits from both, as well as from the birth mother and father’s ancestors. But what of the parents who raised me?
While doing the dishes one night I was thinking about doing a journey to find out more on this relationship, and I decided to pop upstairs and give my helping spirits a heads up. Little did I know I would receive my answer while scrubbing a frying pan.
The imprint on your soul, by the man and woman who raised you, is no less than that of your birth parents, and in fact more. They are the ones who raised you; they are the ones who took care of you when you were sick; they were the ones who watched you go off to your first day of school and helped you with your homework; they are the ones who watched you grow into who you are. Your birth parents created your body soul, and you carry within you who they are. When the parents who raised you took you in their arms, and into their hearts as their own, they began to imprint your soul with who they were.
I have more curiosity about my birth parents than I did before, but it has not yet reached a level of need, and I don’t know if it will or not. In my case the trauma of not being able to give my gifts produced a soul loss that actually allowed me to live most of my life without the effects of that trauma, but for some that may not be the case. I have known several adopted people who have a very strong need to find their birth parents – almost an obsession in some. Had I not had that soul loss at birth, I may very well have had the same burning need. As it is, I was able to deal with that trauma and reintegrate that soul part at a time in my life when I was much better equipped to deal with it.
[After writing this post, but before I published it, I got the feeling that information on my birth ancestry might be available to me while journeying – assuming of course that not knowing was not part of my plan for this life. I have made one journey on it so far and have gotten a first wave of information. There are more journeys ahead on it, and very likely a follow up post with what I have found.]
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