You might want to go to the bathroom and perhaps get a snack and/or a beverage as this post is quite a bit longer than normal for me.
Some fifteen years ago, or so, I had a very vivid dream in which I was shown a tapestry and told that this visually represented the complete record of my current life, and that everything I thought, said, and did was recorded or woven into that tapestry. The “Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.” Other dreams and experiences followed and each added additional detail and expanded the analogy of our life as a tapestry.
This photo is of a painting done by my friend Frank DeMarco in 2004, which came out of one of his sessions with The Guys Upstairs (TGU), where TGU were asked how they perceived us “downstairs” from “upstairs.” The idea was that they see us as nodes on connecting cords or threads, which reinforced the vision I received during the Exploration 27 program at The Monroe Institute back in 1997. As I remember, when Frank began this painting, he connected with TGU and more or less allowed them to paint it. At Exploration 27 I was shown the framework or grid that life is constructed on – the Matrix if you will – and that vision hung around and visually overlaid my physical life for over a month after the program. In my vision at Exploration 27, we are at nodes, or intersections of groups of threads.
The other night, during a journey to my Sacred Garden, one of my guides showed up and took me much deeper into the concept of our life as a tapestry. This rugged yet gentle ancestor shows up quite often when I am performing healing ceremonies and has a very strong, no-nonsense way about him.
My guide led me down a path to a portion of my Sacred Garden behind my home that I have not yet explored, and my garden faded away as we stopped. My guide looked down toward my “feet” and as I looked down, I noticed my life tapestry. As we were looking at the tapestry, my guide touched particular threads and as I touched these same threads with him, I would see a part of my life. We continued to touch threads till we came to one where I didn’t get a visual, but heard the beating of a heart, my heart. As I looked at my guide, he explained that the tapestry contains every detail of our lives, and that every beat of our heart, from the first one while still in the womb, to the last right before we leave physical life is recorded. We touched another thread and I heard myself breathing. Again, every breath we take is recorded in our tapestry of life. Every thought, consciously noted or not, every hangnail, every stubbed toe, it is all recorded.
We then zoomed out so that I could see other tapestries surrounding mine and it now looked like an unbelievably beautiful patchwork quilt. I noticed threads going out of my tapestry and into others. My guide said that those were connections to family members, friends and others that I know or had met, including my connections with nature and the spirits and spirit worlds. We touched one thread that was going from my tapestry to another and I saw a very brief conversation I had with someone in a line at the grocery store. We touched another and I saw a time when I was feeling kind of low. I was walking down the street looking down and when I looked up, there was a older woman of maybe 70 coming toward me. When I focused on her face, she was smiling with bright eyes, and she said to me, ” Good morning! isn’t it a lovely day? The air smells so fresh and sweet, and the sky is so blue.” I glanced at the sky and took a breath and realized she was right, it was a lovely day, and my mood lifted. Both of those experiences had been forgotten in the physical shortly after they occurred, but as I touched the threads, it was as if I was reliving them again in full detail.
We then shifted to a beautiful, still pond. The surface was glass smooth and the water so clear that you could see every detail of the bottom, even at the deepest point. My guide told me that this pond was another way of perceiving the tapestry and that again, like the pathwork quilt, represented all life. He produced a grain of sand and dropped it into the pond. Small ripples moved out from the center when the grain of sand hit the water, and my guide said, this grain of sand represents a simple choice on a personal level such as a change of jobs, or a move to a new home. He explained that although the grain of sand (the choice) seemed to have little effect on the pond (the entirety of existence) from this perspective, the effect was deceiving.
We again shifted and were now below the surface at the point in time when the grain of sand entered the water. Even though we appeared to be some distance away, I could actually “feel” the grain of sand as it hit the surface and drifted down to the bottom of the pond. At every point on its journey to the bottom, I was entirely and completely aware of every minor detail of its path through the water. I was also intimately aware that every other molecule, every atom, every proton, neutron and electron was also aware of the grain of sand and its path. I felt as if I were going to explode as I expanded to encompass this broad awareness. My guide put his hand on my shoulder and my awareness quickly but gently returned to a manageable level.
My guide explained, that the extreme level of awareness I had experienced was to show me that the entirety of existence is aware of every choice we make, and of everything we think, do, say, and experience, because we are all connected. He emphasized that it cannot be any other way.
We then shifted back out of the pond to where we were again looking at the surface. He then said, that as a collective, as a group, the effect of choices can be much larger, such as with the attack of September 11th as a large stone splashed into the water and the large, strong waves radiated out and over the surface of the pond, I was aware of the stronger and more violent waves as they flowed out under the surface and to every part of the pond. Another large stone hit the water and my guide said, “the invasion of Afghanistan and Iraq.” I got the feeling more examples were there (with stones waiting) but I had gotten the point. There was never any indication of “good or bad” attached, it was just a demonstration of how as a collective, our choices and actions can have quite strong effects. Although my guide did not say it, I knew that the examples were chosen simply because they are current examples of events that can make pretty major waves.
I’ve know quite a number of people who are of the belief that they must suppress bad thoughts and actions at all costs, and more or less force themselves to lead what they consider to be a “good” life, but suppression and forcing yourself onto a certain path is not the answer. Some may read what I have written here and go into a panic about this or that thought they believe is bad, which may be recorded in their tapestry and worry about the consequences. I can tell you from what I have learned, that suppression of bad thoughts or actions is not the answer and does not keep them from being recorded in your life tapestry. The “bad” thoughts are still in your tapestry regardless of how hard you try to suppress them.
What needs to be done is to make friends with those thoughts and come to understand them. It is only through understanding them that we can get to the root cause and deal with it. We have to choose to lead whatever we consider to be a “good” life, not out of fear of the consequences if we do not, but because that is the life we choose to experience. There is a difference.
Living in fear of consequences is never the answer.