Comments on: Deciding what’s worth your time http://the-sacred-path.com/2007/12/17/deciding-whats-worth-your-time/ journeys through the mist Wed, 07 Jan 2009 05:22:14 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7 hourly 1 By: dovelove http://the-sacred-path.com/2007/12/17/deciding-whats-worth-your-time/comment-page-1/#comment-526 dovelove Fri, 28 Dec 2007 06:42:40 +0000 http://the-sacred-path.com/2007/12/17/deciding-whats-worth-your-time/#comment-526 This is interestingly timely for me as well : ) I think, sometimes, a bit of friction may very well be a good thing. It can flesh out what lies just beneath the surface -- it may well be the only time we get to see the real deal of the people with which we're interacting, maybe to see that thing we need mirrored back to us : ) I've come to learn though, that it isn't always a mirror of us, but it can often be a mirror of an energy we carry from the past. A familiar energy from some abuse endured in our childhood. We may often draw people like those abusive ones... Anything we love or continue to hate, we will draw to us. Our emotions are that powerful. But if we are honorable, honest and authentic in general, then there's no reason that we should change that modus operandi in moments of disagreement or defending ourselves, standing up for our beliefs, making clear our boundaries. Recently I was honest, honorable and authentic in my disagreement with someone on here. Unfortunately, she was shocked that someone actually disagreed with her (one of those little facts of life), and her response to me was less than honorable -- in fact, she said something that was very hurtful, and blatantly judgmental. I allowed no further comment on a post that was kinda spurred by this disagreement, closing comments immediately after [we both had our] say, which included the insulting comment. I think that made her angry. She responded by quickly deleting the original comments from her blog, which seemed very dramatic to me. All of the comments, both on mine and hers, were exceedingly tame. So it made me wonder why she didn't want others to see what brought it all about. But again, I have no regrets about anything I did or said in the situation. If it's done with honesty, honor and authenticity, the rest doesn't matter. Additionally, when you find situations where no one is ever disagreeing, well, I kinda find that scary. There's no doubt in my mind that people are not being authentic in such situations. They even say that couples who never "argue" are more unhealthy than those who do at times. It brings to mind Stepford Wife kinda people with glazed eyes ;) Often people like that live quietly, but miserably together for 20 years or more before finally speaking up and resolving things...or realize they've wasted a lot of time with the wrong person. The answer isn't continual "peace," with everyone holding back in fear of rocking the boat. I know some people are truly horrified at the thought... Some people are also so very afraid that they won't live up to the image that their "followers" have created for them. That's an unfortunate "prison," and a block to being authentic. Besides being a sham, this sham of peace is simply not healthy. We can't always agree, and if that seems to ALWAYS be the case, then someone's holding back who they truly are. Again, very not healthy, and no one grows or learns much of anything in such a situation. The key, again, is being honorable, honest, and authentic across the board, no matter the situation or topic of conversation. "To thine own self be true." Peace, Dove This is interestingly timely for me as well : ) I think, sometimes, a bit of friction may very well be a good thing. It can flesh out what lies just beneath the surface — it may well be the only time we get to see the real deal of the people with which we’re interacting, maybe to see that thing we need mirrored back to us : ) I’ve come to learn though, that it isn’t always a mirror of us, but it can often be a mirror of an energy we carry from the past. A familiar energy from some abuse endured in our childhood. We may often draw people like those abusive ones… Anything we love or continue to hate, we will draw to us. Our emotions are that powerful.

But if we are honorable, honest and authentic in general, then there’s no reason that we should change that modus operandi in moments of disagreement or defending ourselves, standing up for our beliefs, making clear our boundaries.

Recently I was honest, honorable and authentic in my disagreement with someone on here. Unfortunately, she was shocked that someone actually disagreed with her (one of those little facts of life), and her response to me was less than honorable — in fact, she said something that was very hurtful, and blatantly judgmental. I allowed no further comment on a post that was kinda spurred by this disagreement, closing comments immediately after [we both had our] say, which included the insulting comment. I think that made her angry. She responded by quickly deleting the original comments from her blog, which seemed very dramatic to me. All of the comments, both on mine and hers, were exceedingly tame. So it made me wonder why she didn’t want others to see what brought it all about.

But again, I have no regrets about anything I did or said in the situation. If it’s done with honesty, honor and authenticity, the rest doesn’t matter.

Additionally, when you find situations where no one is ever disagreeing, well, I kinda find that scary. There’s no doubt in my mind that people are not being authentic in such situations. They even say that couples who never “argue” are more unhealthy than those who do at times. It brings to mind Stepford Wife kinda people with glazed eyes ;) Often people like that live quietly, but miserably together for 20 years or more before finally speaking up and resolving things…or realize they’ve wasted a lot of time with the wrong person.

The answer isn’t continual “peace,” with everyone holding back in fear of rocking the boat. I know some people are truly horrified at the thought… Some people are also so very afraid that they won’t live up to the image that their “followers” have created for them. That’s an unfortunate “prison,” and a block to being authentic.

Besides being a sham, this sham of peace is simply not healthy. We can’t always agree, and if that seems to ALWAYS be the case, then someone’s holding back who they truly are. Again, very not healthy, and no one grows or learns much of anything in such a situation. The key, again, is being honorable, honest, and authentic across the board, no matter the situation or topic of conversation.

“To thine own self be true.”

Peace,
Dove

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